Here with me

In my head, I have dreams.

I have visions of many things.

Questions, longings in my mind.

Pictures fill my head 

I feel so lost instead

But, lost doesn't seem so bad when you are here.

It doesn't mean anything

without you here with me

Well I can try to justify

But I still need you here with me

In my heart, I had hope

Built on dreams I'll never know

Answers to love left behind.

Visions fill my head.

I feel so trapped instead

But, trapped doesn't seem so bad when you are here.

It doesn't mean anything

without you here with me

Well I can try to justify

But I still need you here with me

I can't do anything without you

You give me strength to do anything

Well I can't be everything I try to be

You save me from the everything, I couldn't be

You save me

It doesn't mean anything

without you here with me

Well I can try to justify

But I still need you here with me

I need you here with me.

Stranded

You know it only breaks my heart.
To see you standing in the dark.
Alone, you're waiting there for me,
To come back. But I'm too afraid to show

That it's coming over you
Like it's coming over me.
Crashing like a tidal wave
It drags me out to sea
I wanna be with you
If you wanna be with me
Crashing live tidal wave.
I don't wanna be stranded.

I can only take so much.
These tears are turning me to rust.
Cause I know you're waiting there for me
To come back. But I'm too afraid to show

That it's coming over you
Like it's coming over me.
Crashing like a tidal wave
It drags me out to sea
I wanna be with you
If you wanna be with me
Crashing live tidal wave.
I don't wanna be stranded.

I miss you, I need you.
Without you I'm stranded.
I love you, so come back.
I'm not afraid to show

That it's coming over you
Like it's coming over me.
Crashing like a tidal wave
It drags me out to sea
I wanna be with you
If you wanna be with me
Crashing live tidal wave.
I don't wanna be stranded.

Hang On

I'm so stubborn, that's how I got here.

So alone. Feels like forever.

I wanna swim away and breathe the open air.

But I feel so afraid, then I hear you say.

Hang on, when the water is rising

Hang on, when the waves are crashing.

Hang on, just don't ever let go.

I'm so hungry, how can I stay here?

Starving, for what I hold so dear. 

Like a hurricane, it takes everything from me.

Wake me from this dream.

Hang on, when the water is rising.

Hang on, when the waves are crashing.

Hang on, just don't ever let go

Hang on, when you're barely breathing

Hang on, when your heart is still beating

Hang on, just don't ever let go.

Three days, thirty years.

So hopeless, doesn't matter.

Don't say it's too late.

If you blink your eyes, the sun is rising.

Sorry, I lied.

Sorry. 
I know I said this blog would be strictly for lyric purposes, but lately, I have been feeling too much at once, and I don't know how to handle it. I feel like I have lost everything. Am I being dramatic? I lost a job that paid well with great benefits, I am scared to death of where I am at in life and I just don't know how to cope with everything. 
This overwhelming pressure of anxiety on my chest is making it impossible to sleep. I want things to get better. They have to get better. Everyone I loved, everyone I cared about is going away. Why is life getting so lonely? The choices I've made.. Do I deserve this? I made the choices I did, so I suppose I do deserve it all.
I can't change anything. I have to keep going no matter how hard it gets. I have two people who depend on me. They need me to be strong, even if I feel like I can't. Lately, my weight has been up and down. Lowest point, 94 pounds. The doctors threatened to send me to a facility to get my weight up. They wanted to shove a tube up my nose and force calories in me.
Now, at 115, they are happy that I am right where they want me to be. My bones no longer show. I don't look emaciated. 
I can't make any more mistakes. If I lose weight again, I could lose everything. I can't afford to lose everything. What would live be worth living if I had nothing?